She asks does Kitik object if I talk human talk with her, does he wish me to stop. I do not understand at first why she asks this. Why would it be that Kitik would wish that I do or not do something that I do? When I ask her this she begins to say something about humans but then Jason comes with food and she stops and says we talk of it later.When I think of this after the dark comes, though, I think I may know what she is going to say. I think it may be that among humans one will tell another to do or not do.How can this be so? Why would any creature wish to command another, and why would the other accept such a command?In the pod Altauk is leader. Some things the leader will do. He will say when we are to move and where we are to go when food does not come or when the water becomes colder, but that is only sense and all know this. He will say if one must go from the pod, as with Acou, but he will say why and others will do only if they agree.And the leader will mate with many to. The more she thought about it the more she saw parallels between how suppressed or repressed emotion had affected both the way Bob taught and the way her defloration had gone. In both cases their emotions had affected the situation negatively. In one case, it had caused a lethargy in Bob that had bled over to the kids. In the other it had caused them to rush forward, when they should have taken their time.As she got into bed she thought it was almost funny that her main complaint about losing her virginity was that they hadn't taken their time. She had already adapted to the idea it was gone, and she didn't miss it. She was also quite sure she'd never be sorry it was Bob Hawkins who was her first, even if it had ended unhappily.As she put her head on her pillow, Cecelia thought that mourning the fact that she hadn't thought out losing her virginity wouldn't fix anything. And mourning the fact that her stubborn attitude toward how she felt about Bob had affected the kids wouldn't solve.
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